There, I said it.
You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to tell. But the timing didn’t seem right.
It still doesn’t. But the fact of the matter is, I’m having this baby in two months, and well… maybe there’s no perfect time to announce the biggest secret, the most exciting news, to a blog readership filled with mostly people who already know because I’ve told them in person. It just makes my thoughts a little bit more uncomfortably spotlighted than normal to reflect on something so enormous.
I’ve surprised myself with how private I’ve been about all of it. Territorial is another word. I can also think of worse ones.
At first I wanted to just wait for sure until we were out of the “danger zone” of the first three months. But then we got used to keeping the secret, and there was something so nice about having the secret. Especially since I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by social media and oversharing in general these days.
And then we lost Kieran. Right around the same time we went slightly more public with this photo on Facebook:
And it seemed all wrong again, the mix of emotions and the needing to let myself sit with that reality for a while. Honestly, I went two good weeks hardly thinking about the baby.
So we kept it offline. And the more people we told in person, the more it seemed like that’s how life is supposed to happen. Not broadcast with big, bold pleas for attention or the assumption that this baby is the most important baby who ever lived. Because he’s not. (Not to you, anyway. And really, not to us either.)
But the unfortunate byproduct of my privacy is that people who do want to just genuinely share in our joy — maybe you, if you’re just finding out — haven’t had that opportunity.
So here it is — my coming out.
I am seven months pregnant with a so-far very healthy and active baby boy, due September 14, 2013.
Now to resist becoming a mommy blogger…